Cops and Tattoos

Imagine my surprise when he told me, "No, I'm allergic to the ink."

Perhaps I was getting ahead of myself when I assumed that surely, just surely, he would have a tattoo. At least one. Or perhaps I'd been watching too much TV which led me to believe that all cops have some sort of permanent ink, no matter how small.

I rolled over on my side on the couch we were both sharing and peeled my eyes from Pawn Stars just long enough to give him an inquisitive look.

"Really?" I asked.

"Really. My mom is allergic to whatever they put in the ink. So I figured I would be too."

I rolled back over with my back toward him and secretly smiled. Little did he know that I actually joke to my friends about being allergic to the ink as well. My fair skin never took well to things like wool... I wasn't going to chance a limb with permanent ink.

Besides, I've never really been that girl who's attracted to the guy covered from head to foot in tribal patterns, latin phrases and initials of his ex-girlfriend that have been replaced with a nice little collage of skulls, X's and daggers.

Nope, can't do it. It just doesn't get my blood boiling.

And here's my reason why:

I dread having that inevitable conversation with my mom. You know.
This one:

Mom: "He has tattoos."

Me: "Yes, Mom, I know."

Mom: "Those are permanent."

Me: "Yes, Mom, I know."

Mom: "Well, that laser technology gets better and better everyday, but I still don't understand how someone can do that to themselves."

Me: "Yes, Mom. I know."

Add this to the fact that my last boyfriend swore up and down the first tattoo he'd ever get would be in honor of his friend who died in a motorcycle crash, but as soon as we broke up, he got a skull and cross bones of a redheaded girl with "poison" written in the middle. Nice touch. Definitely not subtle, but nice way to memorialize me forever on his right calf.

So to say I was relieved that the cop didn't have any tattoos was putting it lightly. Something that permanent should have much thought go into it, I felt. Not that I'm against all tattoos -- I'm just against the ones that aren't well thought out.

A good friend of mine once told me that if you wanted a tattoo, wait a year. If you still want the same thing that same time next year, then go ahead. But if you changed your mind in the last year, you'll thank yourself you never went through with it.

"What about you?" he asked, as he flipped the channel back to How I Met Your Mother.


"Tattoos? Oh, no. No, none for me." I smiled, but he couldn't see it since my back was toward him.

He was earning points very quickly with me, and he didn't even know it.

-- Miss Matched

Mixed Matched

Hello there. I’ll be a guest blogger here for Miss.Matched. You can call me Mixed.Matched; I’ll be mixing things up around here from time to time.

Where to start?

Well. I was an early adopter of the online dating movement. The first fella I met online was 19-year-old Jeff. We met innocently in a chat room back in 1999. But when he started talking about moving and marriage, my little 15-year-old heart cut all ties. I was far too young to be agreeing to such drastic commitments.

Jeff was my first and only online dating experience until I joined Match.com in 2004. Older and wiser (heart beaten and bruised from past relationships), I felt I was prepared to dive back into the online dating world.

I can imagine what you’re thinking. 7 years on Match and no real success? Sounds pretty lame. I have to agree. But I can’t completely blame Match. I’m ridiculously hard to please and easily annoyed by suitors. Typically after a month of talking/dating, something minor happens that turns me off and I stop answering phone calls. This is true of dating in general, and not isolated to my online dates. Plus, I’ve been inactive on Match for a good portion of the last 7 years.

I say all of this because being an on-again-off-again member of Match makes me a bit of an online dating expert. I can give helpful advice, as well as tell all my horror stories and near successes.

So check back often. Soon I’ll be posting a blog on writing your perfect online profile. Until then…

It's a Match First!

Note: I tried to publish this last night from my phone, but it wouldn't upload. So here it is, today:

It's a Match first for me tonight, my lovely readers. I've never committed to a third date before.

I'm totally willing to admit that I'm nervous. I'm not sure why I'm just now getting the jitterbugs.

You would think that the first date would be much more nerve-wrecking, but for me, it's the third.

The first date is kinda easy. You're both strangers, and you haven't quite shared enough to make you feel vulnerable...yet.

But by the third date, you know he's somewhat of a neatfreak, has booked a one week trip to London, and has a pet peeve about texting and driving (which makes you admire him even more.)

And on the flip side, he knows that you consider your dogs as your children, love frozen gummy bears, and still haven't completely unpacked your boxes from moving in.

Vulnerable. That's what you are.

With every time you hang out, you become increasingly vulnerable. Which is understandable. If you weren't, it wouldn't make for a very honest or good relationship. But it's still scary.

I probably sound like I have commitment issues. No, I wouldn't say that.

But I will say that every girl who has been burned in the past knows what I'm talking about. And guys, too. To become vulnerable is to put yourself out there -- put your heart on the line.

Now, I wouldn't say I'm there yet. No, no. Don't get me wrong. It's only the third date. I mean, I like the guy. But I'm smart enough to not jump to conclusions or make broad generalizations.

I'm only stating that I'm nervous. Because it's the third date. And because I never planned this far ahead, dear readers...

The most important question is...

What do I wear?!


- Posted by Miss Matched using BlogPress from my iPhone

Smart Phones Are Date Dumb

NOTE: Yes, I'm aware of the irony, since I posted this with my iPhone.

Don't get me wrong. I love my smartphone. I wouldn't trade it in for anything. But it just doesn't understand my dating life.

Like, for example, when I go to search the web. It takes me to the last page I had visited (last three pages, rather), and it's a reminder of who didn't work and how I awkwardly shot them down or let the "relationship" fizzle into virtual thin air.

To illustrate:

My browser opens up to the IMDB page of Kevin Connolly.

Why was I Googling Kevin Connolly? Because as my second date and I were walking in the park, we got into a (non-serious) argument about who "the little dude" was in He's Just Not That Into You. Lawyer guy was correct, I was proven wrong.

So when my browser pops open to that IMDB page, I'm instantly reminded how I tried to let him down easy with the pathetic line of, "But I'm afraid I might wrinkle you!"

(Yes, that lawyer. The one who I deemed to be too "fancy.")

And then there's the other webpage that opens up to reveal "hello" defined in many different languages ("jambo" is hello in Swahili, just for your daily dose of FYI trivia) because the divorced single dad and I had a text message volley going with international flair. We stopped when we got to Japanese. I got tired of having to copy and paste what I was going to text, translate it, and then re-copy and paste it... All for the sake of an "lol."

So, smartphone.... If you're so stinkin' smart, why don't you NOT remind me of the dates I "dumped" and ease my conscience the next time I feel like Googling something?

Just sayin'.


- Posted by Miss Matched using BlogPress from my iPhone

Bad boys, bad boys. The Longest {Good} Date.

Hello singles, takens and friends-with-benefits-something-or-others,

Tonight I had the longest date I've ever had. It lasted from 1:30 p.m. until about 6:30 p.m. You're all dying to know if it was good or bad, though, aren't you? Because that would make or break the connotation of "the longest date ever," am I right?

Simply put, it was good. It really was. First a quick trip to the dog park, then lunch at a local hole-in-the-wall joint, and then afterward, a movie. All in all, not bad for a first date. I haven't mentioned this guy yet, and I'm not sure why. A couple days before the date, I spent over four hours on the phone with him, so that was definitely a good sign.

He was a complete gentleman, but not overly formal as to make things awkward. He had a great sense of humor and shared some family/friends stories (he told me he's already dished about me to his buddies, so I took that as a good sign).

We've already planned to get sushi tomorrow night, as a matter of fact. Such a quick turn around has never happened like that before.

Oh... and he's a cop.

Men in uniform, anyone? Ha. (Yes, I made him show me his ID to prove it). So I might have a few trust issues... What of it? I'm just cautious. Ha.

As I'm sure you've already put this together... yes, my dating schedule line up changed a little bit.

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Here's a quick re-cap:
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Last night, second date with the lawyer wasn't bad, but it wasn't great. It just reiterated the fact that he was a little too concerned with money and the "finer" things in life --- whereas my pajama-loving, Netflix-watching, playing-with-my-dogs self probably just wouldn't be able to handle his high-rise condo constant nightscene lifestyle.

So... moving right along...

I actually had to postpone NASA. I know, bummer right? I was actually really looking forward to that one. It's set up for next weekend, though, so stay tuned.

But I did have brunch with divorced single dad. He was funny and it went okay (aside from the whole part where he answered the phone in the middle of the date without a kind "Excuse me, but I've got to take this"), but I felt like there was more of a connection on his end than mine. And if I'm going to date someone with kids, I've got to be sure there's a connection. 100%.

So that's when cop guy came in to the picture. We had been talking over the phone, exchanging text messages and the like, but had already set up sushi for Monday night.

A five hour first date is good in my book.... wouldn't you agree?

-- Miss Matched

Double the fun? Don't. Ever. Do. It.

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UPDATE

to my double-booked Sunday

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Online dating tip:

NEVER, EVER -- under any circumstances -- tell a date that you double-booked them with another guy on the same day. Ever.

They'll laugh. They'll tease. And thank heavens in my case, they'll still agree to meet. But regardless, it's not a good rule of thumb, and it makes for what I can only assume will be an extra awkward goodbye.

[The following imagined scenario playing out in my head]

              Me: "So... I better get going."

              Him: "Yeah... for your second date."

              Me: "Yeah... um... that."

Just play coy, make an excuse when he asks you why you had to rearrange your schedule, and let that be the end of it.

It's not like I meant to tell him. He prodded me about why I had to shuffle things around and teased about my having "many" dates (he doesn't know about any others, he was absolutely just joking in good fun). It all just came out... like verbal vomit, spewing from my mouth. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

But... On the other hand, it does let them know they're in for a little healthy competition.... hmm. 

No. Don't do it. Just don't do it. Or, at the very least, hope to the high heavens that you have an understanding person on the other end of that phone that says, "Sweetie, here's a piece of advice. In the future, never tell another guy that you have to bump them because of a later date."

I'm mortified. I'm honest and blunt, but I'm absolutely mortified.

-- Miss Matched

Dating Overkill?

I know this isn't the post you were waiting for. This one will have to be quick and dirty because I'm on a time crunch.

I want to devote a good amount of time to tell you about my Valentine's Day blind date, but before I do, I have to give you an update on this weekend.

Are four dates in one weekend too much?

Now c'mon. Before you judge, wouldn't you want to knock 'em out as quickly as possible in order to move on to the rest (in the case they didn't work out)?

Anyway, here's my weekend lineup so far:

Fri: Possibly a late coffee (first date) after work. He's a lawyer, so work hours are loosely defined, as it could be as early as 6 or as late as 9 pm.

Sat: Second date. Different lawyer. Dinner at an Italian place. Now I must find an SDO, pronto. (Second date outfit)

Sun: Here's where it gets tricky.

A.M. - early afternoon: First date. Behind-the-scenes tour of NASA. Pretty cool, right? No, he's not an astronaut.

P.M. - First date. Divorced single dad. Not my first preference, but he was extremely funny over the phone and the kid looks very, very cute.

So.... am I committing Match.com overkill?