Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Pile of Red Flags

Hello dear readers, Miss Matched here. I thought I couldn't beat my own record of non-posting, but apparently, I managed to go nearly a whole month without updating you lovely folks. Shame!

So I'm sure you're all wondering...

Whatever happened to the cop?

Well, here's the cliff notes version, since I need to get you up to speed:

Certain flags started showing their true colors. As in red. Red flags.

Red Flag #1: He was overly defensive and very... shall we say "overreactive"?

Red Flag #2: He was more negative than he was positive, which isn't my cup of tea.

Red Flag #3: [Note: I never disclosed this with you before (I felt it wasn't that important), but once you get to the end of this list, it will become much more... relevant.]

When we met back up after he got back from London, he made a joke about me seeing other guys while he was gone. I shrugged my shoulders and was honest with him.

"Well, yes, I did meet someone while you were gone," I said. Something most people don't know about me: I'm completely honest. As in, I should probably work on my diplomacy and delivery. I don't have anything to hide, and I feel honesty is the best policy. Besides, we weren't exclusive by any means (it had only been three dates), so I knew there was no harm, no foul.

But apparently... he didn't feel the same way.

"What? Wait... You did what?" He was clearly upset.

"It was just one drink. We weren't (aren't) exclusive, so I figured it was okay," I said.

"But you told me you don't casually date." He got up and walked to the kitchen.

"My idea of casual dating is different from yours, I guess. I'd much rather be exclusive, but until then, you have to date to figure out what works and what doesn't. How else are you supposed to 'date' if you don't... well.... date?" I asked.

"But when I was emailing and talking to you, I was only talking to you," he said.

I laughed. How is that possible? I thought.

"Well, then it's very different for girls. That's just not possible. We get almost 20 different emails a day -- actually, more in the beginning. I woke up the morning after I had signed up for Match, and opened an inbox full of 96 emails. Overnight. It just wouldn't be feasible to email one guy and one guy only. I would get nowhere!"

"Well, we obviously have different definitions of 'casual dating,'" he said. He wasn't happy, but we agreed to disagree on that topic.

Now... continue to the next Red Flag:

Red Flag #4: His calls got less frequent, and if he did call, it was late at night.

Red Flag #5: He couldn't remember key details/facts about me. Usual, ordinary ones. You know, like... what I majored in at college and things I liked. He didn't ask me many questions about myself... which, in the beginning when you first meet someone... seems odd.

Red and FINAL Flag #5: We became friends on Facebook.

Now, I know what you're thinking. You're thinking... what? Why is that a red flag? Well, simply put, it isn't.

But you know what is? Finding out via Facebook that his stories weren't exactly matching up. As in, the day after I cooked burgers over at his place, he went out on a date with another Match.com girl.

I didn't bring it up. I didn't say anything. I played it cool because I didn't want it to be a big deal. But there it was, staring me in the face. The fact that he made me feel guilty for meeting someone for drinks, when in reality, he did the exact same thing and he knew it.

Okay, I know what you're also probably thinking. You're also (more than likely) thinking... why would I look that up on his Facebook? The answer? Because you would too. Admit it. Facebook is fair game to all. Employers use it. The government uses it. Advertisers and marketers use it. And please keep in mind we were "Facebook friends" at this point. There was no way for me to see any of this otherwise, so there was absolutely no violation of privacy.

Conclusion { a.k.a. pile of red flags}
After all was said and done, it just wasn't worth it. My time or my effort. Add the scheduling conflicts to this, and well.... as nice as it was in the beginning, he just didn't seem to be in it for the long haul or really interested in me.

So my bad boy bad boy days are long behind me, but that just means one thing...

The blog lives on!

~ Miss Matched